Defaulting vs customising

From using our phones, to behaving with others, how must we live? Should we go by a default behaviour, or choose a customisation?

Have you made your phone unmistakably yours by adding customisations in your icons, text style, wallpaper and overall theme? Have you customised the way in which you interact with others, by adding your personal touches apart from the regular nuances of etiquette?

This is the thing, if you have added customisations in your life, that means you have taken time out to ‘design’ the way you lead your life, you are leading a peaceful life, but if on the other hand you are defaulting in everything, from using your gadgets to behaving with others, you are living a restricted life, which shows that you are stressed!

So it is the test, start customising your phone, your laptop and your behaviour towards others, don’t be a ‘default’, be a customised living being, add colours or keep it monochrome, make greetings warmer and humorous, make engagement with others a memorable one, by adding your personal remarks, other than routine ones. Yours is the canvas, why look at others and try to default? Make it personal, give it your personal touch, that is why it is called ‘personality’!

Attacks: Physical vs Mental

Our judiciary system works to establish well-being in our society by punishing the attackers, but do they really ‘protect’ us from these attacks? Our law only considers physical attack as a crime, but does it consider the mental attacks in the category of crime?

In the name of freedom of speech, should mental agony caused to someone be ignored? Does mental attack not hurt? I believe that the mental attacks incur the worst form of pain, much higher than the physical pain. It should be taken into consideration if someone mentally attacks someone or some community, it should be as punishable as a physical assault on someone or some community.

The wounds of mental attack do not heal fast. Our mental space must also be protected by law. If some so called celebrity ‘defame’ us or our community, they must be punished physically, the pain caused due to mental attack cannot be just ignored in the name of the freedom to speech, the freedom to speech shall remain to the point till which it does not hurt somebody mentally.

Our biggest pains are clearly not physical but mental, our mental construct, self-respect are paramount to everyone, and any deliberate attack on these must be dealt with punishment and no one should be spared. Mental wounds are the deepest, no need here to give any examples, we can all think of any mental wounds that we carry, would it not be true justice, if the perpetrators of our mental agony are punished for their these very acts? So that no one ever attacks our mental landscape.

Be guard to our self-respect, mental construct and the communities we belong to, otherwise we shall continue to witness the physical bloodshed that physically don’t make any sense but happen as mentally it is deep. Let us raise our voices, when anyone tries to attack ourselves or our communities, remember not to ignore it, it is a crime, call out this crime of giving you mental agony, it is not to be ignored or tolerated, but to be punished. I am calling out our law agencies to carryout these punishments, it should be there in our judicial structure to identify these mental attacks and dire punishment for the same must be reserved with no relaxation when compared to a physical crime, mental crimes are even worse than them.

Flying thoughts

Sometimes we get very emotional about something we are so consumed by a thought which can be either general or particular to our life’s happenings. We become either anxious or even angry just by thinking about it, and our mind starts giving us solutions based on what we are emotional about, without anyone telling you anything or even any external stimulus, we start to think about a topic deeply. Do we ever wonder, what even started this thought in the first place?

Generally something that takes up our valuable emotional energy is some form of a propaganda, some bias-ness against someone or something. But ever wondered what made this enter our brain in the first place? The fact that we are very emotional about it is fine, but what brought it to our brains, this is often the most ignored part of our lives.

I have been observing my thoughts and only found this: All thoughts are not our own, no sir! There are things that do not even matter to us, but suddenly we are thinking emphatically about them, this does not make sense, if not on guard, I am surprised that just how can something be of so much importance to me in my thoughts, which I don’t even think about in the normal days, and suddenly it occupies a large part of my inner place. To my surprise it is that some thought came into my mind and I just entertained it, and I had it!

No, thoughts are not our own for sure, we are introduced to these thoughts, or in other words, thoughts enter our brain from ‘Outside’ environment, I don’t know how this happens, all I know is that out thoughts are not really our thoughts, they are just entering us and becoming our thoughts, i.e. if we entertain them without being ‘on guard’ to these infiltrators.

These flying thoughts are the propagandas just flying in the thin air seeking our welcome into our valuable brains, and just like viruses they destroy our inner peace, once they make an entry and we start chewing on these. It is hard to explain this, but only with practice shall we be able to not let these thoughts enter our brains without being scrutinised first. We shall be able to save a lot of stress, if we just understand the attack of these thoughts, but for that, effort is required from our side, only then we shall be able to be a ‘guard’ to our valuable brain, and ‘choose’ to think instead of entertaining every thought that comes our way!

In honour of mistakes and failures

We are taught to behave like sages and seers, every aspect of our behaviour is micro managed when we are young, to the point that we are also judged based on what we even think!

This conditioning though aimed towards our safety, often strips us of the very essence of being a human. We start to be fearful when we face a certain circumstance, as that has been flagged as a mistake or a failure. Unfortunately, this fear is unnecessarily accentuated sometimes to the point of taking dangerous steps, which after all makes no sense at all. What is failure? It is a societal measure based on prejudices towards an established standard, which does not promote new thinking, inventions and discoveries. Almost every new discovery or invention was termed as a mistake or a failure. We ain’t going anywhere without being allowed to make mistakes and fail, why is this a thing? why are we treated so badly when we commit mistakes or we fail at something?

Actually, who will commit a mistake, the one who tries? Who will fail, certainly the one who tried? All this must be acceptable and unwanted labels should not be put on our foreheads. We gave an exam and failed, we tried learning driving, but couldn’t, we are required to make money, but couldn’t amount to much, we don’t match the standard set by the society, we failed at a relationship, we couldn’t make people around us happy, we couldn’t bring good marks, we don’t know the latest software, does any of these things make us any lesser a human being than others?

Just why are we compared to others at all? why there is no acceptance in the society about different levels of existence?, these words of mistakes and failure are all arising due to this comparison among us, this comparison will only lead to more and more stress and pain, just shed this comparison among people and suddenly the words like mistakes and failures shall cease to exist!

Distrust

Our First reaction towards others says a lot about the quality of life we are going to lead. By first reaction I mean the way we approach other people’s talk with us, or the way we judge other people. Please double check if this reaction of ours towards others might be causing us discomfort and tension inside of us, the fact that we do not start by trusting others.

We crave for bad news and finding faults in others, we feel secure in knowing negative in others, that something wrong has happened to someone because of their behaviour or ill deeds, this gives us a mental satisfaction that we are better than others and that nothing wrong has happened to us as we are a great human being and we live in an unjust and evil world, there is an inherent need in us to feel this way. But clearly this is a wrong notion, but we enjoy pretending to be hurt and finding satisfaction in just seeking mere existence, an existence that is devoid of trust and seeking help from others and enjoying teamwork.

We have to change this, our first reaction cannot be distrusting other people, we need to start believing in what other people say and believe in. Thinking that we are smarter than others can be really a recipe for leading a constrained and myopic life. Let us stop watching those programs that ask us to look at the world with suspicion, may be crime happens when you start distrusting other people, who knows?

Other people are beautiful souls too, they also mean to lead good life, and we distrusting them shall only bring in friction, between us and them, will it ever lead to anything constructive between both of us? No, only trust and teamwork are useful tools, we eat the fruit of internet, social media entertainment and possibilities of AI only when we have joined hands with others and ‘accepted’ other people’s view-points as well.

Why do we start with distrust? Just accept what other person is saying as the truth, and whats more? the ball will now be in their court. We are a great human beings, only if we consider others as great too! Believing that we know the best and other people are lying is a recipe to a stressed life, let us don’t do this to ourselves.

Importance of being fearless

You cannot enjoy life if you are fearful about future all the time, we have to understand that thinking is a mere illusion projected by our imagination, that holds no reality, and we do so when we are fearful and want to plan for future. A fearless mind lives in the present, trusting the forces that created us in the first place that they shall continue to nurture us, that we all are part of a great plan, and that our well being is the highest pursuit of these life giving forces. Our job is to enjoy every moment of our existence, being thankful and be relaxed and contented. Then we will realise something profound, that just how much the nature around us is supporting us, our job then is to be free of any fear, it really doesn’t make any sense to feel fearful if you pay attention to your life right now, and if you have been paying attention to the kind of support you have been receiving from the very existence day in and out.

In fact we are showing distrust and thus being disrespectful to the very forces that support and nourish us, when we feel fearful, just why do we stop trusting them after receiving so much. The worst part is that when we start feeling fearful, we start displaying worst traits, first of all this fear limits our digestive process, then it starts making the hormones in us that triggers our ‘fight or flight’ response that makes us so anxious and ‘narrowed’ down in life’s perspective, it is absolutely limiting. This fear is what gives rise to the actually dangerous and limiting things such as anger, jealousy and disrupting other people’s work as well. Actually years and years of such behaviour has given rise to religious practices, that absolutely lead astray and seriously limits human talent. Fearful person jumps from ‘exploring’ to ‘believing’ that mindset can acutely limit one from exploring their true potential.

Fear doesn’t help, it is useful to know that, it is ‘our’ own response and hence it is in our control. Life is wonderful, but to take a slice of its unlimited wonders we must at least be fearless. And in my experiences, I think that the best way of becoming fearless is to become thankful towards everything around you and everybody.

A test to find out if you are on a wrong way is to check if we are feeling enmity towards anyone in our thoughts, a fearless mind will have no need to carry any enmity within. Watching our own thoughts is paramount, by understanding a simple fact that our thoughts are there and we can choose to entertain them or reject them, is a sign of a fearless mind. Thinking that every thought is our own is misleading, as our thoughts are designed to give us indication of any possible danger and hence it always projects watchful thoughts, and a learned person will know this and shall be relaxed and be fearless and shall not get triggered in any situation. Fearlessness is a great power to lead a delectable life.

The real pursuit of happiness

So much going on around about happiness, its time to try and understand what it actually is, rather than just making it a goal.

Your crush smiled at you, you found some handsome money on the way, you got promoted, you just’ve had a delicious meal, people appreciated you at work, watching a great movie, hanging out with friends, visiting an exotic location, owning the best gadget, off day from work, amazing weather outside, playing or watching your favourite game, getting something for free, getting something extra a same price, just got saved from a disaster! This is happiness, it is not every-time that you can have it, neither should it be your goal.

Sometimes, as a result of what you do or what you get, you become happy, conversely as a result of what you did or what you got you become sad, what is the difference? Both are just our responses to our situations in life, nothing to run behind. Therefore you cannot run behind happiness, same as you do not run behind sadness, they can happen to you.

Just how can you make your natural reaction towards something as your goal!! You will and must react as per your natural tendencies that are very personal and individual, you don’t have the power to control that, your feelings will always call a spade a spade. We are doing a basic mistake of keeping one type of feeling (our naturalistic reaction) above the other, that is a fundamental mistake.

Happiness, boredom, sadness, anxiety or euphoria, everything is a result and not means, and everything is present in this very moment. Our job is to earnestly identify what kind of situations, people or things generates what kind of reactions inside us and chase those situations, people or things to try and achieve those kind of reactions. Running after reactions is the biggest waste of time, it is running after what makes us happy is the real thing instead of running after an empty reaction of happiness which will soon fade away.

Also running after happiness is not the only thing, running after satisfaction is always a better pursuit. If you want happiness and satisfaction all the time, you gotta be doing things and being with select kind of people and owning certain kind of things that shall give you these two priceless gifts of ‘happiness and satisfaction’, any other empty effort is misleading. If you want someone or something, you want only that, don’t look for replacements that shall generate the same feeling, the replacements are bogus and just don’t exist!

Don’t be a help.

Very rarely may we ever find ourselves in a situation where the other person might require our help without which he/she might have problem that is existential, there we might be required to act, to the point that is required. Other than that never try to help anyone even if they ask for it!

Other people are as capable as you are, do you get it? It is an age old tactic that people observe in other people in form of a helpful nature, and in the name of help, they try to show us as if we are better off than them and appeal to us for help. Often we are unaware of this and just rush to help, actually we mean good intentions in helping them, but generally that is not the case from the side of person asking for help.

Don’t think if you have helped someone that they shall feel thankful, they use you as a doormat and think that you are a fool, that’s it! Just concentrate on what is required for your well being and leave it at that. Its been conspired by generations to show helping others as some kind of virtue, but seldom are we taught the importance of self respect and self relaxation. We are always shown a larger motive by others behind behaving like a slave, and we buy it!

There is no virtue in being of use to anyone, anyway whatever work we are doing is designed to be that way. We are already contributing to the collective good through our everyday efforts, and it is our responsibility to do that correctly, there is no need to work any thing beyond this if you are doing your work sincerely. If anybody has less than what you have, it is their responsibility to fill that gap not yours.

Help has been one of the biggest scams of our times and we’ve been duped by it, why are people seeing helping as some kind of virtue. People take your advantage that way, and you think you’ve helped them.

All are own to themselves, as far as possible never try to give or take help, it is a deceiver. Don’t think that someone is in any way less capable than you, everyone here is differently capable. Next time someone asks some kind of help from you, strike a deal, if you absolutely have to help someone, ask back for a return favour of equal size, even if you want to help.

To be seen as a non-helpful person will save you from a lot of headache, otherwise other people will consume your energies and you shall feel cheated inside, but shall console yourself with compensation of self pride, which is empty and imaginary.

An ode to Character

We witness a kaleidoscope of characters everyday, we don’t understand why some people behave the way they behave. Somethings that are clearly out of bounds for us, others just rush there. We wonder if we are correct or not, but only time tells us that. Many many things that lure us towards themselves are actually counter-productive for us or even harmful, but see that such things are so tempting, a person is fit to live here only if he/she can identify and avoid these temptations.

To maintain one’s character seems vapid and mundane everyday and temptations seem delectable. But it is only time that tells the power of maintaining character.

To not run behind the things that take away your precious time, precious piece of mind and create fissures in your relationships is a hard task today, not because there is so much promotion of these counter-productive temptations, but because we lack character. We carry ills like, carnal desires, bragging, a desire show our superiority on others and disrespecting our love giving and nurturing relationships. Clearly our priorities needs to be set up identified.

To nurture Character is to respect life, control that anti-life tendencies by cultivating forethought and involving in investing in self logic enhancement and in your ability to think and manage your life. Always remember if wealth is lost nothing is lost, if health is lost something is lost, but if character is lost everything is lost.

Accepting-everything generation

Being a millennial, i am teaching gen z boys and girls, i have learned everything i know with a lot of hard work, penance almost. With this kind of hard work and attention to detail required and available at our times, it has been a very long and tedious journey learning anything at my times.

But today we mellenials have to teach gen z , and one thing we must be aware of is that today is the age of information and more knowledge is the last thing the new students want from us, knowledge is so much and readily available today, that they have access to more knowledge than you can carry in your head, so trying to act smart with this woke and information rich generation shall only create a long gap between us and our students.

I understand that it was very hard to learn and get information from our own teachers, but we shall have to leave that behind now and embrace the newness of ideas and opportunities available to students now.

Today’s students do not need information at all, they can do a better job at finding better information than you can today, so does that mean that you have lost any right to teach them? No not at all, there are important roles of us teachers in the lives of gen z students, absolutely important ones. The generation today might have access to more and more information, but they lack any understanding of right, wrong, good, bad, or even useful and useless, all they are filled with is empty knowledge, i am not trying to belittle their hardwork. All im saying is that they needed guidance from us, who might have had much less information, but have better understand of the ‘effect’ and ‘need’ of such information in our lives.

So instead of fighting differences with today’s students, we must work together to make today’s students ‘complete’. After all we are much more similar than we are different.